The Final Countdown

6 months ago…

More still half an hour to go. This was torture. Don’t human rights activists do anything about this! Block math periods must be banned, deemed illegal I say. Everyone was bored to death. And then it happened. She turned back. Our eyes met and I knew there was spark though there was no current in the class. She was arguably my most prized possession. That spark burnt her image forever in my eyes. That spark was the moment I have been waiting for.

2 and a half years ago I joined college. I was proud to have finished schooling finally. Now in an entirely new surrounding with no one I know, I felt lost, like everybody else. Well not everybody else. She was the prettiest thing ever. She was like a teddy bear you want to hug all day and never let go. She came late to class. That was when I saw her for the first time. There was something about her, a grace that I fell for. It took me a month to know her name, school and other details. It took the rest of the semester to just admire her character.

We were brutally separated in the next semester. My hopes to get to know her were virtually destroyed. But I was just not about to give up. Not yet.

I never forgot about her. Finally the day came. She looked me in the eye and smiled and there was light! And the fans began to turn too. Well the current was back (yes, even I was surprised. No one knows how or who did it.) and the class was over. It was the starting of a long weekend. Hope I can talk to her someday.

4 months ago…

The last month was one of the best in my entire life! An opportunity that gave me something more than just knowledge, it gave me wisdom. A month internship with my favorite automobile company was more than what I could have asked for. On the last day we all had a day off before we left for our respective colleges. Germany was a beauty by day and a gift by night. The clear European sky and the classic chill weather definitely beat Chennai summer. As we were strolling by the streets a particular tiara brought back memories my princess back home. I had never been more eager to be back home.

On my very first day in college after the intern, things hadn’t been quite well. This got me worried and scared. My attendance had been accounted for by the college but one particular faculty decided his ego had to play a part in my life. To add to all misery my close friends decided that they need to get new friends and forget about me. In spite of all this there was one thing that uplifted my spirits out of this world. As the last class was done, she walked up to me and gave me a bag of chocolates and said she had gotten them for me. Can you believe it! A WHOLE BAG OF CHOCOLATES JUST FOR ME!!! But more importantly she knows I exist!!!!!

3 months ago…

I have been talking to her ever since I accompanied her that day in the bus ride back home. She lived not far from my place. She waited for me at the bus stop in the mornings and I adored her for caring to have waited. I didn’t have many friends and the few I did made it obvious that I didn’t matter to them the way they mattered to me. She was pretty much all I had and I’m not complaining.

2 months ago…

I think she’s seeing someone. In the mornings she didn’t wait unless I met her by chance at the bus stop. She didn’t speak much. Whenever I asked her if anything was wrong she laughed it on my face. Is she hiding something or am I just being paranoid. I feel like time is running out faster than before. What if I never get a chance to tell it to her?

As the month progressed things changed, but not for better. Every day was a bad day. Sulking in class, walking alone and being an invisible faceless entity became norms. She began avoiding me in college. What do I do? Give her space and fear letting her go or confront her asking for the truth and fear losing her forever? Wouldn’t matter much; guess I’ll ask her…..

1 month ago…

She stopped going to college by bus. In college she was virtually unreachable. She was now surrounded by my old “friends”. Music was all that gave me company and joy if there was any left in this world. I guess avoiding her might help but kept bumping into her in corners and meets. At the canteen, in front of the lab, everywhere I turn, she was just there. Was she trying to talk to me? Trying to explain? Or give excuses?! Was she circling me like a scavenger or just happened to be at the place at that time?

1 week ago…

Formalities have been filled. Authorities have been notified. This was finally it. This was all life was; ups and downs, highs and lows, enemies and pretenders. Looking at what happened a year back, this wasn’t that painful, or maybe not painful for the flesh. I believe heart-broken is the expression. Every day as I walk out of college, I turn back to see what I may never see again. Guess that’s life.

The very next day…..

The dean of the institution called for a sudden meeting with the students. Students filled the hall in utter commotion and confusion and evident dislike. Well though as long as a class is being cut there won’t be complaining. The dean takes to the stage and addresses the students on a very grave issue.

“Today was a beautiful day. Look properly as to who is sitting beside you. You will probably know them by this time, but what you will not notice is that one among you is missing. Yes, you all will know by now whom I’m talking about. Diagnosed with blood cancer and refusing to undergo the terrible ordeals that come along as the treatment and given a year maximum to live, he chose to continue his education till death does him apart. Such commitment is what is required in today’s youth and the passion and quest for knowledge is to be …………….. (Boring blabbering) …………………….

Finally I request you all to stand in silence for a minute and then disperse to your classes.”

Epilogue

The one minute silence was never kept. People hardly knew who the guy was. He was not going to be missed. And as for the people who once knew him, well, they were never in the hall at that time. In fact they had gone out for a movie bunking class. So had she and never noticed him missing. EKSI!!!

I Dream of Unicorns

Have you ever seen a kid,
larger-than-life yet sane,
that no matter what he did,
all people called him was lame…

The night is dark and silent,
and words quite don’t fit,
persuasive demons are violent,
greatest of minds often quail to it…

Dawn will break the darkness,
bring forth light into the world,
it is darkest before brightness,
the heart is warm as it is cold…

I dream a dream to dream,
to one day see, truth denied,
to let out a joyous scream,
when I like whatever I find…

No one expects one so young,
to know what is life and love,
to know what fate has strung
to know that his time is right now…

No one expects one so young,
to know why the birds sing,
to know why a song is sung,
to know why love should sting…

No one expects one so young,
to know how not to dwell,
on matters often unsung,
that which makes the heart swell…

A clock can turn for eternity,
random events will unfold,
time gives you no sympathy,
pity that elders never told…

Some journeys are made alone,
into the dark, in search of light,
isolated, your hope forlorn,
for the light is never right..

Life is a valley of tears,
try to swim, you drown,
is man your greatest fear,
or is it a woman’s frown?

I dream a dream to dream,
to one day see, truth denied,
to let out a joyous scream,
when I like whatever I find…

No one expects one so dumb,
to know the truth of life,
that a heart can win none,
unless she has a subtle knife…

No one expects one so dumb,
to have a soul so distinct,
to stay alive, heartsome,
yet have no basic instinct…

No one expects one so dumb,
that to stay alive and realize,
that if an Eve has around come,
she will deliver you real lies…

Never can this be done with,
gone as they say, with wind,
unicorns I dream are a myth,
and if I said anyone ever has listened…..

-Murdock

Goats 'n Roses

Long long ago in a distant land called Wisdom there was a beautiful garden called the Garden of Eternal Roses in the Valley of Peace. The garden was huge and it is said that it was so huge that people could never see the garden completely in a single day. This garden was all so huge that people came in flocks’ everyday to enjoy its beauty but as the days passed by the garden became dirtier and dirtier. The roses which gave life and colour to the garden began to wilt and soon people stopped coming and the garden closed down.

Adjacent to the garden at one edge there was a dark and spooky forest where creatures of your worst nightmares dwelled. As they sensed that the Garden of Eternal Roses was dying, they slowly crept in to inhabit the garden. Seeing this everyone in the villages nearby started moving farther away from the garden, everyone except one brave young boy from the village in the mountains. He had spent his whole life among the roses. They showered him more love than the villagers and the other kids at the orphanage. He couldn’t let the garden die as it was a part of him. Slowly little by little he grew tall and strong as the garden grew in beauty until people claimed that it was more beautiful than ever before.

All was well or so thought the people in the valley. Unlike before, the roses had more thorns in the sides and hurt anyone who dared sneak past the grumpy gardener. Soon even the trespassers grew weary and no one ever visited the garden except the gardener who lived there tending to the roses.

A rose is a rose. Amber to yellow, blue to white, pink to red there was every colour of rose in the garden. Their beauty was only surpassed by their arrogance. Kings were disgraced by their inaccessibility and queens were humbled by their glamour. People who knew the garden as it was before they destroyed it were no longer around to tell of its marvel and no one had seen the garden from the inside in over a hundred years and still there were rumours of a young man tending to the garden to see her grow. Some say that it was the same boy who revived the garden but no one knew for sure but one thing what everyone knew was that the garden was a beautiful place where people hurt if approached.

As centuries passed one day not so long ago, a kid from the mountains lost its way back home and stumbled into the garden. Terrified beyond reason he sat beside a bed of blue roses began to weep. As he wept he took a look around. It was nothing like what people told. There were no thorns in the roses beyond the border outer region of the garden and it looked like the roses just didn’t want people to come inside. Wiping the tears off, he began exploring the garden. He felt peace. It was so quiet, so isolated like a blessing. He kept walking blindly. The roses guided him. Finally he reached the river. As he reached down to have a sip he heard a twig snap behind him. Startled he turned back to see a stunning sight! Another boy about his own age, he had blue eyes and wore tattered clothes. He didn’t look lost nor did he look frightened to see someone else in the garden.

“Who are you and how did you get here?”

“I am from the village up in the mountains. I fell got lost in the mountains and stumbled here by mistake. How did you get here?”

“I too fell into the garden when I was younger and I’ve been here ever since but it’s now time for me to go home.”

“You have parents?”

“No I am an orphan, just like you.”

“Hey how do you know I am an orphan?!”

“I have to go. Take care of the roses. They have thorns but you should know better. Farewell.”

And the boy with the crown of thorns retreated into the bushes and disappeared but as he waved goodbye he could see that the boy’s hand bled with real blood and so did his legs like as though someone had hit nails into them.